Effective Communication in the Workplace
Much of the daily communication in our society is badly defective. It is unfortunately very common for people to ‘communicate’ in a rude fashion – talking over one another or multitasking when we should be focused on listening. This behavior is reinforced daily by examples of terrible communication from our entertainment sources and from many leaders. It seems most political figures are more interested in shouting at each other to broadcast their opinion rather than to actually solve any problems. This type of communication is ineffective and leads to poor results – including poor business results!
We can, and must, do better in the workplace!
As leaders we must role model the behavior we expect of others. This is especially true in the type of communication behaviors that we use. If we are rude in our own communication habits, it should be no surprise that a toxic atmosphere pervades the workplace! Remember that we as leaders establish workplace culture through our behavior, words, and attitudes.
Listening Actively - a Good Start
How often, when someone is trying to talk to you, are you still trying to finish typing the last few sentences of an email, or reading something, or physically doing something other than listening? Communication starts when we focus our attention. Put down the smart-phone, stop typing that email, and focus your attention on the person in front of you! We all know this – but yet, somehow, we all blow it on a daily basis!
We need to start with actively listening. Research shows that only about 10% of communication is related to the specific words utilized, and another 30% is somehow related to the sounds and intonations that we make. That leaves approximately 60% of communication that is going to be from body language – or visual cues. In order to capture all of the information, and have a chance of understanding the message, we must listen actively not only with our ears, but with our eyes!
The next time that someone comes to talk to you about something they feel is important, if you cannot focus your attention, instead of half-faking it and continuing to multitask (yeah, we’ve all done it!), ask them to give you a few moments to finish typing that last sentence of your email, and then give them your full attention. Close distracting devices, turn to them, and clearly indicate that you are now listening by making good eye contact.
Active listening techniques will help us to improve our understanding of basic information, but we will likely still be filtering that information through the prism of our own experiences, and preparing our response based upon our feelings and perspectives. That is still not being an effective listener! What we really need to aim for, is empathetic listening.
Listening with Empathy - to Really Understand
To listen empathetically, we need to use our full active listening techniques, but then also try to put ourselves into the other person’s shoes. We need to try to feel what they are feeling about the topic, not let our perspective or autobiography paint the picture. Asking questions will help to clarify not just basic facts, but more importantly, to understand their perspective and feelings.
Think of it this way, when we are just using active listening, we are forming a picture in our mind using the data transmitted to us. But that picture is still based on our perspective, our feelings, and our experiences. It’s as if we are the painter! Whereas, when we listen empathetically, we are allowing the speaker to paint the picture for us. We ask questions of them to add more shading or color to a section of the painting that isn’t clear, so that we can better ‘see and feel’ what they are communicating. We continue this back and forth until the picture is complete, not judging along the way. After all, we wouldn’t prejudge an actual painting while the painter was still working on it! All throughout this process we are both talking about the same picture - their picture! It doesn’t matter yet what you think about it, or what some other painter did, or what other paintings you have in your archives to pull out! It only matters that you are fully seeing and feeling their painting.
Once we think we really get it, repeating back not only what we heard, but reflecting on their feelings and showing that we understand their perspective, will ensure that we did truly understand the full meaning. This will also prepare the other person to listen in turn. Once someone really feels that they have been fully understood, they will be far more ready to try to understand your perspective, and view the picture that you paint.
While at first it may seem like you don’t have time to fully listen empathetically, it becomes apparent, that you waste far more energy and time when you fail to listen to really understand! When we do not truly understand the other’s perspective, we will be highly prone to make mistakes and run in the wrong direction.
Be Understood
Communication must be two-way. It is not just important for you to understand the other party, but also equally important for them to understand you. The benefit of empathetic listening is that you now have much better data and understanding upon which to base your response. Your response can get to the true underlying issues rather than just imploding against surface clutter.
Once you’ve fully communicated your perspective, have the other party repeat it back to you, to ensure both of you were understood.
Conclusion
While society utilizes horrible and rude communication habits, it is up to us, the leaders of teams, to set the best example. Not only does this help with improving the workplace culture and atmosphere, it also will increase the organizational trust! Empathetic listening will enable far better communication and ultimately save time and resources by being able to focus on the true underlying issues. In all reality, empathetic listening can be a competitive advantage – as your communication will enable better results!
For help honing your communication skills, work with a coach who can help you practice, point out where you are going off-track, and help you become a better leader as a result.
Do you want more tips or guidance to improve your leadership skills? Take our Executive presence course or get an experienced coach to assist you in fulfilling your career ambitions.
